where i am now, it's hard to spot any landmarks or even find a street sign that doesn't just tell me that the name of this street is blur. i spent this winter yelling at calendars for holding back the sun, and when they finally let go, the warmth was of such quality that it made me want to embrace the sidewalks and the brick walls. but i've depended on inert tablets and sham surgery for too long now, and if i have any intention left - at all - to make this jelly lump into some proper life, i better start treating myself with a medication that works. so, i've been sketching some solutions, i've been preparing myself for some actions that needs to be done.

i've been writing the same farewell letters i wrote three years ago.